A few strategies and techniques for developing self-confidence.

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission"

Eleanor Roosevelt

These are some 'self-help' methods so that you can start your journey of building self-confidence.

1. Every person is good at something so, each day, determine an alternative thing you're proficient at and morning and evening, spend time concentrating on it and saying out loud, "I'm good at ...". It doesn't have to be major - maybe something like preparing a cake, helping your pals, DIY, finding discounts, collecting stamps. At the end of each day add it to a list, observe as the list increases and be proud of these things.

2. Never fear failure! Successful people fail more frequently than the average person as they take more challenges, they're prepared to fail and so they LEARN from their downfalls - that's what they're for. Each failure is a step closer to good results.

Think about a professional sportsman that fails to win the race. Does s/he withdraw from athletics feeling lousy? I don't think so; they recognize what they did right, recognize that which was incorrect, discover an easy method to do it, and rehearse right up until they improve.

3. Initially when goal setting, only set goals you already know you will be able to accomplish, rather than setting yourself up to fail. This helps your self-esteem. Later you could begin to challenge yourself with more ambitious goals.

4. Recognize that nobody succeeds at everything they do. The 'expert' skier may be unable to compose a poem, the perfect cook might not be able to use a PC.

5. Even the most confident individuals have something they're not sure about. They're not perfect; don't create tension for yourself by believing you have to be.

6. Know that lacking in confidence is a state of mind. In this state you grow to be a self-confessed victim which changes your behaviour. Other people don't see you as a failure until your behavior shows them you are.

7. Dramatic changes hardly ever happen. Often it's the small changes on a daily basis which matter. If you grow even a little daily, you'll be amazed at the end of a year how far you've come. So maintain a diary/record of where you started so that you can notice the differences at the end of the year. Ensure your daily routines and attitudes count, and congratulate yourself on your achievements.

8. You shouldn't be around folks who make you feel bad about yourself. Their negative thoughts is THEIR problem and has nothing related to you! Often they put you down to make themselves feel better about their low self-esteem. Try to find people that lift you and understand you.

9. Don't try to make it happen all on your own. Even if you could make some improvement it will be much quicker if you seek some support from a mentor or undertake some confidence coaching.

10. Stop being very challenging to yourself!

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